


Letters To Bucky

by BraveNewSoul



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Letters, M/M, POV Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Being Tony
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-21 04:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12449256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BraveNewSoul/pseuds/BraveNewSoul
Summary: After the events of Civil War Steve finds some comfort in writing letters to his would-be lover, who is currently frozen in a cryogenic chamber in Wakanda. He speaks of the old days, of current days, and days he wants to experience with Bucky in the future.Oh, the future - they never thought they'd get one. Thanks to T'Challa and his kingdom, they have a chance at one.Steve just hopes it finds them soon.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even going to lie and say this will be regularly updated. But feel free to bookmark and come back for feels all over agin.

_Dear Bucky,_

_Hey, pal. Uh...I don’t exactly know what I want to write in this thing. Wanda suggested that writing to you might make it easier to deal with the fact that you’re not here. She does that with Pietro. You would have liked him, you know. He was a cool kid. Bit of a punk, really, but so_ ~~_were_ ~~ _are you._

_I can’t help but wonder what Hydra has done to you. I have your file, but I can’t make myself read it. I don’t know if I could handle what’s inside without losing my mind._

_I wonder if you’re dreaming right now. Can you dream when you’re frozen? I don’t remember dreaming when I went into the ice. It felt like only a moment had passed before I opened my eyes again. Like I’d blinked._

_It must have been so hard for you to wake up again and again, not knowing how much time had passed or where you were. Did you ever recognize any of their faces? You were probably so scared…_

_I hate them, Buck. I want every last head of Hydra destroyed for what they’ve done to the world. But more importantly, to me, for what they’ve done to_ you. _Nothing makes me angrier than imagining what life had to have been like after you fell._

_The fall. Germany. God, it was so cold and the ravine was endless. I watched you until I couldn’t see you anymore. Your screams still haunt my nightmares, Buck. How did you survive that? I’m sure the answer lies in that file,_ ~~_but I just can’t_ ~~

_Tony and I still haven’t spoken. I sent him a letter, not too unlike the one I’m writing you. I told him I was sorry for hurting him, that it wasn’t what I’d intended. I was so caught up in getting you back - in making sure you were safe and that I wouldn’t lose you again - that I didn’t realize how much damage I was causing in the process. You always had a way of stealing my attention without even trying. I guess that’s just one of the many things I love about you._

_Anyway, I sent Tony that letter along with a cell phone. A cell phone! Can you believe it, Buck? You can call people from practically anywhere now. And some cell phones have cameras in them. I wish I’d gotten a picture of you before you went under again. Not that I don’t have any, because I still have ones from our childhood days locked up in my apartment. I take them out sometimes, but it hurts too much to look at them for longer than a moment. It’s a reminder of what we once were, what I’m scared we might never be again._

_T’Challa calls weekly to give me updates on you. You’re stable in your coma-like state. Vitals are all normal. He says it’s like you’re asleep. Which, I guess, you are. They still haven’t found a way to shake your brain of whatever Hydra put inside you, but he thinks they’re close. I hope so. I miss you._

_Your birthday is next month. Wouldn’t that be an awesome birthday present, getting to wake up and be yourself again? We could go down to Coney Island and see if the hot dogs are still as good as they were back in the day. Take the train back home, just for ol’ times sake. Visit the place we once called home. From what I’ve seen, nothing is the same. I haven’t been back to our neighborhood, though. Maybe those houses are still standing._

_I won’t go without you, Buck. People keep telling me to go home, but I guess they think my home is in Brooklyn. That isn’t true - my home is in a cryogenic chamber in Wakanda. How could I ever return to place I spent my younger days without my home by my side?_

_Sam came by earlier today. Says he’s gonna stay with me for a while. I think he’s worried about me, but he doesn’t need to be. I can get by just fine on my own here. Remember when I said that to you all those years ago?_

_God, it doesn’t even feel that long ago._

_There’s so much I want to talk to you about, Bucky. So much I need to talk_ with _you about, because the future is strange and it’s still changing, and if I ever in my wildest dreams imagined living in a time like this, it was with you still beside me. I never thought I’d have to go it all alone._ ~~ _It’s not your fault of course nothing ever is_~~

_I guess I’ll wrap this up for now. Sam will be here any moment to drag me off to a bar or something, get me to talk about my feelings and then let me drink myself to death. As if that could happen._

_I miss you._

_Stay alive, okay?_


	2. Chapter 2

_Dear Bucky,_

_Remember how I said Sam was going to take me drinking last night? Well, he did. I drank half of what the bar had stocked, and I actually managed to get a little buzzed for a few minutes. Even Sam was surprised, I think._

_I know you guys didn’t hit it off right away, but I think once you wake up it’ll be different. He’s a good guy, Buck. He cares and it’s not just because I was Captain America. It’s nice to be treated like a human being again instead of a martyr or a show monkey. It’s nice to feel like I have a friend._

~~_Not that you aren’t my friend, you are and you’re so much more than that_ ~~

_I wonder if you’ll ever see these. Maybe I’ll throw them away when you wake up. Right now, these letters are my only link to you. I guess I can always go back to Wakanda and sit by your tank, but Sam says that’s not good for my mind._

_Natasha says I should go see the world. She offered to come with me, and I almost said yes. She’s pretty torn over Bruce leaving, but I don’t think she’ll ever admit it. Oh, you don’t know who Bruce is! He’s a scientist of some kind - nuclear physics I think? He did some kind of experiment with gamma radiation a few years ago that turned him into what everyone calls the Hulk. It makes him big and green and super strong._

_Can you imagine if I would’ve changed colors in the Vita Chamber? You'd never be able to look at me without bustin' up again._

_But anyway. It seemed like Tasha started acting differently around Bruce after what happened in New York. Did you hear about that? Well, I'll tell you just in case. Gives me something to do to keep my mind off of things._

_I think it's important to tell you first that Earth isn't the only planet out there, and humans aren't the_ _only intelligent beings in the universe. There are actually other realms - that's what Thor calls them. Yes, Thor! The god of thunder from those Norse mythology books you and I used to read at the library - can you believe it? Sometimes I still can't._

_Anyway, he explained things briefly before we fought but so much has happened since then that I don't remember. He comes from a realm called Asgard, and I've never been there but Thor paints a wild picture with his stories about the place. He grew up with a brother called Loki - the trickster god. Who would have thought that stuff was actually real?_

_Well, it turned out that Loki was adopted by the Frost Giants, and I won't really get into who they are because I don't know that much, but they're big and blue and cold. When he found out, he didn't take it so well. Took it out on Odin (their father and the king) and tried to destroy a city in New Mexico. They thought he died when he fell into space in Asgard, but that wasn't true. He conspired with another group called the Chitauri to try and conquer Earth with the Tesseract. Which was supposed to have been destroyed back in the forties when I fought with Johann Schmidt, but I'm starting to think nothing ever really disappears. It ended up in the bottom of the ocean with me, and SHIELD got their hands on it._

_Until Loki stole it, anyway. He created a stick of some sort with it that he could use to control people's minds, took control of our friend Clint for a while. Long story short, he called his Chitauri army and they came through a portal in the sky and destroyed a good part of the city. Stark almost died trying to close it. But we did it - we won. Somehow, we always do._

_The story is crazy, I know. I missed some parts, but I don't want to have nothing to tell you when you wake up._

_I might just call up Natasha and ask her if she wants to go somewhere. She's hiding too right now, trying to figure out a new identity or something. I'm sure she could use a break._

_And yes, Bucky, we'll be careful. I can hear you even now, see you giving me that look you always gave me when I wanted to do something you didn't approve of. ~~You never change~~_

_I'll write to you soon, pal._

_I still miss you._

~~_Probably always will._ ~~


End file.
